Jodie and Holly have recently celebrated their 1 year fostering anniversary with Orange Grove.
Here, they share their journey so far - from their inspiration to foster and fostering panel to becoming first-time mums and the positive impact they've already had.
Their journey demonstrates that with the right fostering agency, you don't need prior experience because you'll receive all the support, training, and guidance you need to make a difference.
Inspiration to foster
There are many ways to start a family, and for Jodie and Holly, fostering was the perfect choice for them, Jodie explained:
“My wife and I didn't have the most traditional start to having children, so really, all options were open to us. We had a really good think about our choices, and it was mainly during a conversation with my mum that we decided to foster. She used to be an Outreach Worker for young people, and I got involved with a lot of that work and saw all the good things that she managed to do and achieve.”
“Once we decided we were pretty certain that fostering was the route we wanted to take, we looked at different avenues, different agencies, and the local authority. We knew that we wanted an agency that could provide us with a lot of support – we’ve not had children before, so we really felt we needed that one-on-one time.”
“We found Orange Grove, and after looking through all their materials, seeing how responsive they were, and experiencing the support they provided from the outset, we were very sure that this was the route we wanted to go down.”
From fostering panel to being approved
Many foster parents find the idea of panel daunting, but when the day comes, they realise that it isn’t as scary as they first thought, with some enjoying the process. Jodie and Holly’s experience was similar, Jodie said:
“The panel experience was very nerve-wracking at first, but we had a lot of support from our social worker. She even said, ‘These are some areas they may want to probe a bit further,’ so we already felt prepared because we had an idea of what might come up.”
“For us, it was an online process. We had a Teams meeting with several different people, and it was just a conversation, really.”
“They asked us a lot of questions about our motivation and why we thought we might be good in the role. They were trying to get a flavour of who we are, touching on things that might have come up during the assessment process as a potential weakness or areas we might struggle with, then seeing how we responded.”
“The panel were all very friendly. Nobody seemed like they were out to get us, and they were even sharing their own experiences. It just felt like they were trying to understand whether we had fully considered all of the challenges that we might face.”
Becoming first-time mums
After the fostering assessment process and being approved, Jodie and Holly couldn’t wait to officially become first-time mums by welcoming their first young person, Jodie said:
“Meeting our young person for the first time was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced – it was absolutely brilliant. We were really nervous. We didn't know what she would be like, how she’d act, or how we would all fit together – whether she would fit in with us, whether we would work for her.”
“When she arrived, we saw the car pull up, and her little face pressed against the window – she looked so excited. When they came to the door, we had a meeting with her and her social worker. She got to see the house to make sure she was happy with where she was going to live.”
“We have two cats, and she’s absolutely cat-mad, so that worked out very well. Within 20 minutes, she was up in the bedroom, jumping on the bed, and saying, ‘I’d really love to live here’.”
“From quite early on, she got that we’re a bit quirky and a bit weird, and it felt like she fit into our family like a glove from the outset. Then, it was just a case of her becoming more confident. We got her at a very crucial age – she was 12 going on 13, so we knew there was a lot of development and growth happening. We were trying to learn about each other while also making sure she was supported through that big teenage transition.”
Building a connection
One of the biggest challenges of fostering can be building a connection with the child in your care. However, by offering consistency and continually showing up for them, you provide a foundation for your relationship to grow and for them to build trust. Jodie shared the moment that she and her wife knew that their relationship with their child was on the right track, she said:
“We felt like the trust was being built when she started opening up to us about her life and felt comfortable enough to speak up for herself. When she began saying things like, ‘I don't think it’s right’ or, ‘Could we try this?’ it showed that she trusted us enough to realise that she could push back a little bit and have her own opinions. It didn't mean she wouldn't be accepted or cared for in this situation.”
“That confidence made us think, 'We're making some headway here'. It's not fully there yet, but it's definitely getting there.”
Jodie and Holly are working hard to ensure they nurture their child’s confidence and encourage her to aspire to be anything she wants to be, Jodie said:
“We hope to give our young person the confidence and assurance that she always has someone to turn to when she needs support. We want to give her a platform for a good, successful life.
“So where we can, we support her. If she's struggling with schoolwork or wants to pursue hobbies, we help her and encourage her, which helps build her confidence. We tell her she's great and celebrate achievements big and small. We're hoping that our support will make her a more rounded, confident person in the future.”
“I feel very proud of who she is, who she’s becoming and the role we’ve been able to play in helping her feel like she matters.”
Touching moments
Jodie shared a touching moment with the young person in their care, a moment that ensured she truly felt part of the family, she said:
“My wife and I got married this year, and we really wanted to include our young person in the process. We asked her to be our ring bearer, and she was also a bridesmaid. She got all dressed up and got to meet all of our extended family. She was as important as we were on that day.”
“As soon as she came to us, we both acknowledged just how special she was and how much she meant to us. We wanted to show her that, and we thought, what better way than to give her some responsibility like this? She really loved it and was telling everybody about it.”
“About a month ago, we also went on holiday. Taking her away and getting to see her flourish as she made friends, explored, and had so much fun was a really lovely moment for us as well.”
Advice for others thinking about fostering
Jodie and Holly have just celebrated their first anniversary of becoming foster parents and had some advice to share for those considering fostering, Jodie said:
“You can experience a lot of self-doubt, but I think you just need to push past that because it probably comes from a fear of the unknown.”
“We don't have our own children, be we handle situations in the same way any parent does when faced with a challenge. We look for support or ask for advice and guidance. As a foster parent, you have a huge network of support – your agency, your family, and everybody around you.”
“The support from Orange Grove has made the whole process more informed. They provide the information you need to understand what might be happening and help you to self-reflect, grow and change.”
“I think you're even more supported as a foster parent than you are as a parent with your own children.”
“The impact you can have is immense”
“I would say, hands down, fostering has been the best thing we've ever done, and my wife agrees. We've seen the difference in our lives, and now we have this young person who we’re hoping to build a strong, lifelong support connection with.”
“Whether you're with a child for a short amount of time or a long amount of time, the impact you can have is immense.”
If you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community, or are inspired by Jodie's story, and would like more information on becoming a foster parent or the support you’ll receive from us here at Orange Grove, please get in touch.
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