One of the most exciting parts of fostering is welcoming your first child into your home.
We’re sharing some top tips from our foster parents on how to have a successful first month together as a family. We’ve also created a downloadable checklist which you can use to keep on top of all the important business during your first month of fostering.
What happens once I accept a referral?
Once you’ve been through our careful matching process and it’s been agreed that a child will come to live with you, it’s time to start preparing to welcome your young person! Depending upon the type of fostering you offer, the time it takes between a match being confirmed and a child moving into your home may vary. Here are a few ways in which you can prepare before a child moves into your home, recommended by our foster parents.
Things to do before your young person arrives:
- Complete your Learnative modules. Before a child comes to live with you, you will need to complete your First Aid and Safeguarding modules on our training platform. If you’ll be caring for little ones between the ages of 0-3, you’ll also need to complete the Safer Sleeping module.
- Complete your family book. Your family book is designed to welcome the young person into your home and help them get to know your family. It’s a great activity to do together as a family, especially if you have children of your own.
- Read your young person’s referral. You should utilise all of the information provided in the child’s referral to get to know as much about them as possible before they arrive, including a child’s medical needs.
- Ask Questions. There may not always be a great deal of information about the child available, so work closely with your referrals officer and Supervising Social Worker who’ll support you in learning more about the child’s likes, dislikes and food preferences so you can make their transition to living in your home as welcoming as possible.
- Get to know CHARMS. As a foster parent, you’ll be using the online CHARMS system to record daily logs. You’ll be required to complete a mandatory ‘Recording and Reporting’ course, and having a play around with the system in advance can be really beneficial.
- Prepare their bedroom. When a child first arrives, their bedroom should be neutral, cosy and welcoming. In search of a little inspiration? Check out our bedroom ideas for foster parents.
- Health and safety. As part of your fostering assessment, a full health and safety check will have been made on your home. You should double check that everything in your home meets the requirements: for example, ensuring any medicines in your home are correctly stored and that your home is secure.
- Register with FosterTalk. As an Orange Grove foster parent, you’ll receive a free membership to FosterTalk, which includes a range of resources including a counselling service, education advisory service and a discount scheme.
Items you’ll need:
It’s important to gather the essentials before a young person comes to live with you. Depending on the needs of the child, these might include:
- Fresh towels
- Neutral-coloured bedding
- A new toothbrush
- Clean pyjamas in a range of sizes, appropriate for all genders
- Personal toiletries, such as shampoo, body wash and conditioner
- Sanitary products, including tampons and pads
- A freezer stocked with child-friendly, easily prepared meals to take the pressure off in those first few days
- Snacks for when a child first arrives - they may have had a long journey!
- Safety items, such as a car seat or baby bath seat depending upon the age of the child
Please don’t feel overwhelmed by our list, and be sure not to rush out and make big purchases - for example, a car seat or a whole new wardrobe of clothes - until it has been confirmed that a young person is coming to stay with your family. If you need any assistance in obtaining items, reach out to our team - we're always on hand to rally around in support!
Items we also recommend:
- We recommend that you purchase some incontinence products, such as mattress protection and pull-ups. Keep in mind that older children may also require some extra support at bedtime, so keeping disposable pyjama pants in a range of sizes can be beneficial.
- Night lights in a child’s bedroom and in your hallway can bring comfort and help them navigate in the dark.
- Comforting items like blankets, teddies or sensory toys in a child’s bedroom can help to give them a real welcome.
- Bath toys are a great addition to any foster home which cares for young children.
Download and print off our handy checklist at home to ensure that and your family are prepared.
Download Checklist
Your first day with a new child: tips from our foster parents
“Clear your schedule for the big day. It’s important that you don’t plan to have any visitors, other commitments or other distractions. Plan a nice calm activity, or just let the young person relax and enjoy some of their favourite TV shows. Make sure you’re there for the child as things will be especially tough in those first few days.”
“We like to make sure that we have something nice for dinner, maybe a homemade meal or a take-out. It’s important to give children all the space they need at this early stage and they will need time to build trust, so we don’t pressure them to spend time with us if they’d rather have some time to decompress in their room. Most importantly, smile!”
“Get as much information as you can from a child’s referral so you can help to make them welcome. For example, if I learned that a child loved getting creative, I might leave a notebook and coloured pens in their bedroom as a welcome gift. Be aware that some children may arrive with nothing, so you may need to pop to the shops to grab some essentials.”
Tasks to complete during your first month together
During your first month caring for a child, there will be a variety of phone calls, meetings and appointments dependent upon the needs of the child in your care, which your Supervising Social Worker will support you with. As well as these, you will also be required to:
- Complete your daily logs on CHARMS.
- Get the young person registered with a local GP and dentist within the first 10 days, which may require a letter. This does not apply if you are offering emergency fostering.
- If a child has arrangements in place around spending time with their birth family, meet these commitments.
- Attend the young person’s looked after child review, which will take place within the first 28 days of them coming to live with you.
Your first month with a child: tips from our foster parents
“We find that setting boundaries and house rules from the start can make a big difference. We like to use visual aids like timetables, household rules and a chalkboard menu for the week. These can provide some much needed routine and stability for the kids and also helps us to keep on top of things. The chalkboard menu in particular can be really comforting for kids who have anxiety about food.”
“Use this time to really get to know the child you’re looking after and show them that you care about them and their interests. The easiest way to learn is to ask! Don’t overwhelm them with questions, but show them that you’re interested, and find ways to help them feel more at home. This could look like involving them in decorating their bedroom or finding a local club where they can continue doing whatever extracurricular activities they enjoy.”
“There is a fair amount of paperwork and meetings at first which can take a bit of time to get used to. Having a calendar dedicated to your fostering commitments, whether pinned on your fridge or digitally on your phone, can be of great help. I write my CHARMS logs in the notes app on my phone then add them all onto the system at the end of the week. I also have a specific fostering email address to keep everything in one place and so that my personal inbox doesn’t end up getting overwhelmed.”
Taking care of the whole family
During your busy first month, it’s important to take care of the mental health of every member of your family— and that includes yourself! We offer all of our foster parents free support from a local therapist if needed, and we see it as a strength when foster parents feel confident to reach out for support with their mental health.
If you have children of your own, have regular 1-1s with them to check how they’re getting on. We have lots of experience and dedicated resources for your children, and will help them to have a rewarding fostering experience. Read our advice on fostering with your children to learn more.
Your first month with a new child in the home can be very busy, so it’s important to take time to yourself to decompress. This could be leaning on the support of your partner, back up carer or designated Family Support Worker so that you can take some time to yourself, whether that be going out to walk the dogs or meeting up with a friend for a coffee.
Remember, support is all around you
Support will always be on hand, with our expert advisors only ever a phone call or an email away. We offer a full range of holistic support to the children in our care as well as to our foster parents and their children, including support groups and access to a therapist.
“The main thing to remember is that you’ll never be on your own when you foster with us,” says Rhi, one of our principal social workers. “You’ll be led by experienced professionals every step of the way. Our team will be there to remind you of any upcoming events or tasks which need to be completed. We’re passionate about doing everything we can to ensure that everyone in your home has an amazing fostering experience!”
Interested in learning more about preparing to foster? Find out more about getting ready to welcome your first foster child.